Also this week you'll find the new Ecuador Photo Gallery. In
the coming weeks I will share some stories from my recent visit to Ecuador.
I'll keep you posted!
Mark
AdventureView
with Craig Nathanson: A PhD. on Passion
Ever find yourself asking, "Is this all there is?"
You look at the clock and see it ticking, counting the mountains not climbed,
the poems not written, the places not seen. You want more, but don't know
what to do. Well, if you're ready to escape the cubicle and follow YOUR passion,
Craig Nathanson can help you get started. An author, speaker, and vocational
coach, Craig specializes in helping those in mid-life find their passion (to
me, another way to say "Live Your Adventure"). In this interview
Craig talks about his work and gives tips on how to move closer to living
a more fulfilling life.
LiveYourAdventure: I read your quote on your
website, “The world works a little better when we do what we love.”
Craig Nathanson: Yes, that’s the tag line that best
summarizes my life’s work, which is helping others, specifically those
in mid-life, to find fulfillment and meaning in what they do.
LYA: How do you help people do that?
CN: It’s important for people to figure out what they
prize most in their lives. Sort out values and order them by priority. Then
you can really figure out if you’re following them. So adventure to
me is just an element of something that is important to people. If it’s
important, then you define what it means, you do it, and that brings fulfillment
and happiness.
LYA: That’s true in my case because what I wanted to
do was travel and take pictures, and that’s what I did.
CN: So many people want to do that, but they don’t
take action for a lot of reasons.
LYA: So what kicks people over the edge to take action?
CN: Based on eleven years of mid-life research, it boils
down to about three points. It’s sad, but for most people it takes a
crisis – layoff, divorce, illness – for someone to re-evaluate
their life. Second is the natural evolution of aging. When we reach our early
forties, sometimes older, we often have this sudden realization that half
our life is over, and that notion drives some of us into hiding or into action.
The third thing is based on how we are raised and our external environment.
Those who have supportive people around them make changes more easily. Those
who don’t have supportive people around them, or were born into a negative
or low-economic culture or environment, are stifled. And to break out of any
of those three things is difficult.
LYA: What do you tell people to help them break out?
CN: Go back and redefine your perfect vocational day. What
does it feel like, taste like, look like, smell like, sound like, from the
moment you get up in the morning ’til the time you go to sleep. Once
you can envision it to the point you get excited, then you’ve sort of
recreated yourself again.
LYA: So a lot of the people you deal with have some sort
of an impetus already but they just don’t know where to take it?
CN: I wish I could say that ninety percent of my clients
come to me when they are already happy and everything is great, yet they decide
they’re not content in their vocational life. But most come to me as
a result of a crisis, or just a sudden realization that something is missing
for them. We start there. Usually they hand me their resume and I respectfully...
LYA: Dump it in the trash?
CN: Right. Then I’ll say, “Tell me what you want.”
My first book, P.S. For Your Perfect Vocational Day was designed to get people
to think about their passion. Assume you had all the money in the world. Think
about how you would live the rest of your life, and give an example of one
typical day in that life. Money blocks all of us, so I remove that and say,
“If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do?” And that
sort of starts the creative process.
LYA: I remember doing a similar exercise in a workshop. We
were given an imaginary six months to live and unlimited resources and asked
what we would do.
CN: But you know what I would do at the end of the exercise,
Mark? I’d take the money back. I would say, “Surprise, I made
a mistake, let me take the money back...”
LYA: So you don’t have five million dollars in your
account.
CN: No, but you do have these new ideas. Go back and look
at the ideas, and look for vocational patterns. In other words, look for ideas
that will bring income.
LYA: I was very fortunate I got a big chunk of money and
could pursue my dreams. I do question it when somebody says to me, “It
was easy for you because you had all this money in the bank.” But I
made the commitment first, and the money followed.
CN: I bet you would have done it even if you didn’t
have the money.
LYA: Yes, I was firmly committed. Then the money showed up.
Like magic.
CN: I don’t think money can buy happiness, but happiness
can buy money. What I mean is if you take a risk and follow your heart, that
generates money. But the money thing is so irrelevant. I mean, how many people
would cash in a substantial IRA and give half of it away in taxes just to
finance following their passion? It goes against every financial principle
in this country that says you should save for retirement. I didn’t listen
to that because I believe if you do what you love you never have to retire
– so why would I ever need money to retire? How many people would sell
their house and rent a smaller house, or trade in their BMW for a used Honda?
You have to sacrifice some level of happiness for yourself and maybe your
family to do that. But I have done all that because I knew if I didn’t,
I would die. Sadly my father committed suicide just two weeks ago because
he felt empty inside – it drove the message too close to home that that’s
what happens to people who let themselves completely lose meaning and purpose
in their lives.
LYA: I had something similar happen. When my father retired
from dentistry, and he loved his practice, he had ideas about what retirement
meant to him. But my mom didn’t share those ideas. So I think it became
very real to him that his dream of traveling the country wasn’t going
to happen because my mom was very happily entrenched in her own life and social
world. On one level it occurs to me that my father died of a broken heart
because when he realized his dream of retirement wasn’t going to happen,
he lost the joy he got from his practice, and there wasn’t much left
for him. It sounds to me like the same thing happened to your father on some
level.
CN: Absolutely. My dad was in the banking industry and he
was the vice president of a local branch in a small town for thirty years.
He spent another twenty years in a little office down the block. At seventy
he “retired” and for four years his life went down hill. It’s
ironic to me that he decided to take his life in the parking lot in front
of where he worked for thirty years, as it was where he was most happy. So
I tell people in my own work, “Follow your passion! You have to be willing
to risk your relationship.” It’s a test of your relationship and
of yourself to say, “I’m going to find what my true calling is
in life and if I find it, I hope you’ll go along with me. If not, see
you later.” People don’t like to hear that, but I believe in order
to be a good partner, you have to be happy and hopefully those who love you
will be supportive. It’s a true test of a relationship. I just want
to emphasize that because it’s a stronger component than whether you
have money or not.
LYA: When you talk about relationship that’s something
that speaks to me, being on a sort of adventurous, follow-my-heart path. I
don’t have a relationship and I’m wondering if I can find someone
who will follow me. My current plan is to get an RV and drive around the country.
People look at me and say it would be hard to find somebody who wants to do
that. And the reality is that people are fairly entrenched in their lives.
It hasn’t been easy for me to find somebody I like who’s willing
to pull up roots and jump on board.
CN: In this country there are two hundred million people
and I would guess that there are probably a number of people who would do
so. The challenge is, well it’s not really a challenge… you know
you follow your heart, and you’re open to experiences along the way!
You’ll meet people that want to join you, figuratively and practically,
and then you can decide if they’re right for you. I’m not a numbers
guy, but I’ll bet if you run the numbers there are a lot of people who
would look up to whatever each of us do and would like to be part of it. That’s
one of the nice things about having a healthy perspective of yourself (which
I write about a lot) – other people will want to come along for the
ride.
LYA: When you say a healthy perspective would you say high
self-esteem?
CN: High self-esteem, self-assurance, knowing what you want,
not being afraid of what others will say. So whether your climbing mountains
or taking pictures, or doing dentistry, or traveling and taking pictures in
an RV, there’s somebody out there who is going to admire that and it
will make them feel better about themselves. There’ll be somebody who
wants to come along. So in transition you have to be comfortable with being
alone. When someone follows their passion, whatever it is, the more they can
broadcast that and people will cheer them on. I read a story about a father
and son who went on a fundraising tour of all the U.S. baseball parks because
the father had alzheimer’s. People were so excited about what they were
doing, they gave contributions and support at every single ball park! It’s
because the son didn’t just say, “Boy I feel bad that my dad is
ill,” he decided to do something about it. So when we do something with
passion, we find support. But you have to be willing to risk, to share.
LYA: You just got back from teaching in Russia, right?
CN: I work with people and speak all over the world. I was
trying to help people think about how in mid-life they can define and follow
their vocational passion, doing things that align their interests and abilities
and give them excitement. I’m personally doing that as we speak and
have been for a couple years now. It’s important to practice what you
preach.
LYA: Why Russia?
CN: I’m on a mission to spread my message around the
world. If everyone did what they loved, within certain constraints in certain
countries, the world would be a better place. I’m anxious to test out
my theory that people want to do what they love regardless of where they live.
Obviously there are more opportunities in different places. Russia seemed
like a magical place to teach, because since Communism fell there are more
opportunities for entrepreneurs. On the other hand, many don’t have
the skills they need because they’re used to being told what to do.
So that was an opportunity for me to get some new ideas out.
LYA: Did you have a translator with you?
CN: The folks I spoke to were senior managers in companies
and they spoke pretty good English. In about eight months I’m going
to Vietnam to teach, and I’ll probably have to get a translator there.
But Russia was pretty exciting! That’s a whole other interview, telling
about my time in Russia. That was pretty adventurous for me to just pick up
and go, actually. Lots of stories to tell.
LYA: What was the best part of the adventure?
CN: Being in a different country for a month. People didn’t
speak English and hadn’t seen more than like, ten Americans. I ran everyday
and people stared at me -- people don’t work out there. But the best
story is about avoiding the police. They will check foreigners’ passports
and try to find something wrong as a way of generating extra income. So I
was always fearful of getting thrown in jail. But I guess I didn’t look
American so...
LYA: Glad you made it back! A final point?
CN: Yes. Once you decide to take action and follow your passion
don’t ever look back! A metaphor is when I run track with my daughter.
I’m always telling her, “Don’t look over your shoulder because
if you look at the kids behind you, they’re going to catch you. Keep
looking forward!” Same metaphor for following your passion. Once you
do it, don’t ever question. Don’t look back.
NEW
Photo Gallery: Ecuador!
Click on each for full-sized photos.
