Sex, Salvadoran Style
December 27, 2000
The big neon sign clearly said: Auto Hotel. “I just don’t get it! Is this just a place to park your auto? Where’s the freakin’ office?” I drove around the circular interior of the drab cement complex several times and all I could see were small garage spaces with a door inside and a rolling metal garage door outside. “Where’s the office?” I asked the security guard with a big shotgun and a nasty German Shepherd. My much improved Spanish was not enough to comprehend the situation. “Are there rooms here?”
“Yes. You have to use the telephone.”
“But I’m a traveler, I don’t have a telephone.” I drove out, still mystified, looking for an office somewhere outside the complex.
Nope. Nada. Nothing. I was running out of options. I had already been looking for a place to stay for forty-five minutes and it was way after dark. I had to try again with my heavily armed friend. He told me there was someone in the office who spoke English. “What office? Where is the office?” I said, not hiding my frustration. “On the telephone.” He repeated for the fifth time. He finally motioned for me to come with him into a garage and through a door into a small room. It was painted a fleshy pink color and there was a huge mirror on the wall next to the bed. “Omigawd! I’m in a whorehouse!!” I thought, as he handed me the phone.
The girl on the phone spoke English with some kind of European accent. She told me the room was $13 and that included two beverages and that checkout time was 7:00a.m.. 7:00a.m.?? Hmm. OKAY, I think I’m making progress. Then it got weirder. I was unpacking and I heard a knock on the door. But, there was no one at the door. There was no one at the garage door. Was I hearing things? No. I heard it again, this time with a girl’s muffled voice. “Omigawd!” I thought again, “Is there a naked girl somewhere in my room?” No. A box in the corner with a hand! Just like the Addams Family on TV! And it wanted my money!
After an explanation from Brigitte, the Austrian girl on the phone, it all made perfect sense. This was a place were Salvadoran couples came for discreet sex. You can’t bring your girlfriend home to Mom, nor your mistress home to the wife. So you come here. No one sees you, your partner, or your car! Completely anonymous. With a free porno channel! But alas, I’m here all by myself!
