Those were the words to the song blasting on the radio as I got on the freeway out of Tucson. I’m finally on the road! Not quite on my original schedule, but very excited nonetheless. First stop was the Road Kill Saloon in Forked Road, New Mexico. Somehow I was attracted by the name and the fact that I’d probably be encountering lots of it over the next few months. It happened much sooner than I thought. And I got pictures! ( I won’t subject you to them now, as it would be unfair to do so without your consent due to their graphic nature. The brave can click HERE…) On the stretch of highway between El Paso and San Antonio I must have seen at least 50 deer plus assorted raccoons, skunks and other unidentified carcasses.

P. S. I chickened out on the surprise wedding gift. It would be a long strange trip for Kenny and I’d probably even miss him when I get back.

Those were the words to the song blasting on the radio as I got on the freeway out of Tucson. I’m finally on the road! Not quite on my original schedule, but very excited nonetheless. First stop was the Road Kill Saloon in Forked Road, New Mexico. Somehow I was attracted by the name and the fact that I’d probably be encountering lots of it over the next few months. It happened much sooner than I thought. And I got pictures! ( I won’t subject you to them now, as it would be unfair to do so without your consent due to their graphic nature. The brave can click HERE…) On the stretch of highway between El Paso and San Antonio I must have seen at least 50 deer plus assorted raccoons, skunks and other unidentified carcasses.

P. S. I chickened out on the surprise wedding gift. It would be a long strange trip for Kenny and I’d probably even miss him when I get back.

Kenny is my pet 200lb. “miniature” potbelly pig. He was given to me as a gift. You’re probably wondering, “Who would want such a gift?” That’s a very good question, particularly right now since I must arrange for his care while I’m away.

Let me start from the beginning. The summer before last I had a girlfriend who shall remain nameless but not shameless. The girlfriend, her dog Pandora, and her two kids (humans), were all living with me when Father’s Day arrived. Being a good part-time step dad, I received a baby pot-bellied pig for Father’s Day. I was wondering, “Who would want such a gift?”

Kenny was the size of a small cat, all black and cute as a button. He was fairly easy to potty train and we all lived in a nice state of harmony for a short time. Kenny’s personality and sexuality developed very early. He was not a very discriminating little pig. He would have his way with just about anything, animate or inanimate. He really liked an old dining room chair we had in the back yard. He and Pandora became more than just friends. Pandora tolerated Kenny’s advances. She seemed to like the attention but certainly did not get the same fulfillment that he did.

We were not able to tolerate the smell Kenny left with Pandora. It was ghastly. I had to take Kenny to the vet to solve this problem. Upon his return, he was an it. A caring friend got me a T-shirt to commemorate the event. (see photo below, thanks Lou!)

Fast-forward. The girlfriend moved to Texas to become the ex-girlfriend. She took Pandora but not the pig. I didn’t want to keep him initially and considered Easter Sunday brunch or the Humane Society. Neither option seemed humane and I decided I liked him enough to deal with his maintenance.

Fast-forward to the present time. The miniature pig is now the monster pig. The Ex is recently married and living in South Texas (I’m sure my invitation got lost in the mail). I’ll be driving through South Texas to get my border crossing. AHA! I can kill three birds with one stone:

1) Kenny gets re-united with Pandora, his first and only love.
2) My pet care hassle is history.
3) The Ex and the new guy get the perfect surprise wedding gift!

I know what he will be wondering.