Chicanery in Chicago, Book Show Shenanigans
Chicago, June 7, 2004
I love trade shows. It is fascinating
to see how things are done in other industries. The latest
and greatest in a 
particular arena. Sure, they can be tedious in the same
industry over and over again. I thrive on the novelty
of different conventions. For me, I suppose it's like
visiting a foreign country.
I just attended the Book Expo America
in Chicago, the world's largest book show. It wasn't open
to the public. But my cousin works in the publishing business
and lives in Chicago. He was my host. And he was a tireless
publishing industry mentor for me. Thanks again, Tom!
I was there to learn about publishing
and promoting my own book. And there was lots to learn.
The author of Toilet the Novel had a unique approach to
promotions. Another author hired his own protestors to
stir thing up a bit. It seemed to be working!
But the biggest perk for attending was free books!
That's right, as many as you could carry,
often signed by the author. They are ostensibly for booksellers
who will 
promote and sell them. My cousin pointed out one slightly
sleazy attendee famous for taking more than his fair share.
All day long, he made the rounds to the booths loading
up bag after bag of books and then dropping them of at
his van in the parking lot. No doubt supplementing his
income quite nicely on eBay or at some used bookstore.
I didn't feel quite as guilty after watching him work.
Meeting celebrity authors was a treat.
And there were lots of them. Dr Ruth was a tiny ball of
energy. Jenny McCarthy was sexy and very sweet. But as
you might guess, I struck up the best rapport with fellow
adventurer, Dora the Explorer.
I snaked my way into line to get an
autograph from quirky and hilarious author, David Sedaris.
His books were gone but he was still signing CDs. Thinking
of my brother Tim, who is a huge fan, I asked him to sign
it to: 'Tim, you da man!' He handed the CD back to me
inscribed: 'Tim, you're a Jew!'
Jon Stewart of the Daily Show also had quite the line.
Again thinking of my brother Tim, I waited my turn. And
once again, I made my request for the inscription: 'Tim,
you da man!' Immediately one of his handlers from Warner
Books barked: 'NO, HE'S NOT DOING ANY PERSONALIZATION!'
Jon looked at me with a smirk and shrugged his shoulders
about the Nazi-style treatment then signed exactly as
I had requested. He was very cool.
George Carlin was the featured entertainment
on Saturday night. He prefaced his show with remarks about
freedom of speech, the protection of which is a mission
of the Book Industry Foundation. Needless to say, he was
well received by the crowd.
Sad to say I missed Bill Clinton speaking
on Thursday night, promoting the release of his new tome.
I would have loved a signed copy of that one. On eBay,
it would have covered the cost of my airfare to the show!
I might have even read the monster first.
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